Talking dirty to your partner can seem like a pretty far out idea to many people. For some it is an issue of being scared to expose themselves in such a way, as it exposes a unique vulnerability to their mate that they wouldn’t normally disclose. For others it stems out of a feeling of looking silly, like something out of a bad porn movie. They just can't wrap their minds around the idea of talking dirty being something that’s... well sexy and intoxicating for their partner!
It’s something new and unfamiliar, and the unfamiliar tends to be pretty darn uncomfortable for many people.
Talking dirty however, doesn't have to be a re-enactment of a bad B movie. It doesn't even have to be overtly sexual. It’s really just a natural extension of the mental and physical pleasure you get from your partner, and as such it is a great way to spice up your sex life.
So let’s talk some basic ‘how to talk dirty’ details shall we?
Start slow for you and your partner’s benefit.
First of all there’s no need to jump right into "spank me, show me who's the boss!" (Some of you may never find that enjoyable or comfortable, however long you enjoy dirty talk as one aspect of a potentially all encompassing love life!). Either way, it is best to start slow, with simple dialog expressing how you feel in regard to what is happening at that moment.
Comments such as "I really like it when you touch me there”... or “it feels so good when you kiss me like that". You can play around with different comments to make, tell your partner what you are going to do to them, or how much you like doing this or that to them, etc.
Quite literally, the only limit here is not just your imagination (as some people tend to believe) but also your memory. Think back to the times you’ve made love, read something or seen something that has excited you or turned you on. See the actual act in your mind and then simply describe it. If you can add you or your partner into your description – even better!
Expand your vocabulary and find your voice.
For many of us the main roadblock in learning how to talk dirty, is that we have no idea what we are going to say, or how exactly to say it! Talking dirty isn't a science, it's a way of expressing how you feel. Your dirty talk may prefer to come out as low voiced whispers and pants, or loud screaming and yelling. Most run the gamut of in between those extremes!
It is also best to stay away from precise anatomy terms like penis or vagina which could well you’re your dirty talk into a semi boring anatomical lecture. Use slang words and names instead, allowing both you and your partner to feel more relaxed and ‘at ease’.
The point is to let loose and have fun! Do a bit of on line research if you can't think of some dirty words to use.
Practice Makes Perfect, No One is Perfect – So Keep Practicing!
Practice talking dirty when you are home alone. If you wonder how you look when talking dirty, try it out in front of the mirror. If you really want to go to town on practicing and becoming a Jedi master at Dirty Talk – try recording yourself, either audio or video. You’ll be able to get a much better idea of how you sound and how you look by doing this. (Just make sure you erase the tape before the kids find it!)
Another way to practice is to talk dirty to yourself while you masturbate. It can help to make you more comfortable with the sound of your voice during such an intimate act. To some that may make them feel awfully self conscious and uncomfortable but, and it’s a big BUT here, in order to become effective at talking dirty to your partner, you need to feel comfortable yourself. If you are all twisted up, nervous and hating every second, he’ll know and fast.
Result = Turn Off.
Time has shown that Practice Does Make Perfect (or close too!) so practice. I promise you, the more you practice the better you’ll feel and get!
Rules & Boundaries
One more important thing to do before embarking on your dirty talk adventure is to set the rules up with your partner. Many people as mentioned won't talk dirty due to fear of looking silly or being laughed at. It is important to set up rules, like no judging each other, or laughing at each other, or correcting each other's attempts to talk dirty. When you are caught up in the excitement, and learning how to talk dirty, there is no telling what might come out of your mouth or your partner’s mouth, so it is important to feel safe from ridicule when trying out new things.
It opens up doors for many more exciting options for the future!
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